You know what, I'm at a point in my young life where all's good. It's far from perfect, definitely. Uncertainties old and new may be creeping up at times (numerous, actually), I'm still messed-up as everyone else is, but I am getting more of these quiet moments when I could honestly say to myself jeesuz, I'm fine (so relax and stop whining). Well, I admit part of it is because of a certain somebody who likes to microwave adobo and hates carrots. This is not an uncommon result, so my imagined surveys say. Well, I've got nothing else to say. Just got lucky, I suppose. Here's to hopefully more luck on its way, who knows maybe I could someday go to Mongolia and travel with horses like a nomad, live in a yurt, and learn to play the morin khuur (a horsehead fiddle) and throat-sing. Oops forgive that bit of random dreaming there.
And oh, I've come to write a little something by way of reminiscing.
***
Premise
We needn’t have hurried after all
he says when he missed his 3 A.M. bus, a hint
lingering in the air you ignore, but you give in
instead to a last kiss before closing the car doors
meant: Well, have a nice life, good luck
with that fight you’re having, cheater
you turned out to be. But you are tired
and fumble on the double locks, you wanting
to just close the night after you
on a bed you do not share. Next time
perhaps this you’re getting is a nicer screw
with fewer surprises, like the taste of his mouth
you’re now discovering, heavy breaths you’d like
of it quicken as he takes you in, out. Come later
you would invite him to your room but tonight
the time being must just be a detour so
I think I’ll go now you address the room
buckle your belt as you must leave
nothing, again it’s same way easy. You could
be polite and not betray a little too much
smile learning to keep yourself in check. But
suppose convince yourself you are not that
pleased, suppose, yes, you could stay for the night.
___