Tuesday, December 28, 2010

At fumafabcast si Aleph

Explore mode ako recently, at tulad ng sabi ko sa isang kaibigan, pakiramdam ko na-ooverhaul ng kaunti ang buhay ko.

Kinikilala ko kasi yung sarili ko bilang isang gay individual at paano ko ba gusto mag-grow as such. Lagi kong ni-reremind sa sarili ko not to lose myself. Hindi naman sa pagiging too careful, pero I try to take everything with a grain of salt.

Ang dami ko kasing ngayon lang na-eexperience or naririnig from conversations. First I thought, it's because I'm not used to this kind of gay culture. That it's different per se. Pero after a while, I realized that it's just like with straight people. One can draw similiarities actually, make comparisons. (But let me make a disclaimer that I'm not a fan of insisting on hard-coded differences when it comes to sexuality.) In both groups, there are those who go to parties and meet people, may mga flirt, may mga promiscuous din etc, the list goes on and on. My closest friends reside on the less rowdier part of the spectrum, so even if I am a "newly-out" gay guy, I want to believe that's where my sensibilities lie. I know I lack a lot of experience especially when it comes to relationships but it's important I think to find early on a kind of anchorage. Right? Yung tipong alam mo na: ahh, dito ko gusto manggaling, I will approach things from this perspective. Yung tipong kaya mong to "go with the flow" pero yung hindi ka naman matatangay completely.

But that doesn't mean I am not open to friendships. From the few times I went out with a group of gays, sobrang ang saya-saya talaga. And aside from that, lagi akong may nararanasang meaningful for me, really. Siguro I've learned the value of opening yourself to people more, connections can be amazing (not necessarily romantic) even with people you've just started to know.

Kaya segue ako to this semi-kind of plugging hehe, I had the pleasure of tagging along sa isang fabcast ni Migs the Manila Gay Guy and the Fabcasters lot. I met him kasi included ako sa isang meetup ng mga blogreaders niya (s&s3). Ang dami kong nakikilala, gusto ko silang maging kaibigan!
Here's the link.
http://manilagayguy.net/2010/12/28/fabcast-show-me-the-meaning-of-being-lonely/
May part 2 pa!

Masayang magulo. Soundtrack ng holidays ko ngayon yang "Off the Wall" ni MJ. At dahil pumipilosopo ako ngayon, yun phrase na "off the wall" won't make as much sense to me, probably, without the idea of a "wall". Yung homo aspect ng wall na yun ang kinikilala ko pa ngayon. Hi, Wall!

I'm off to a party later, actually. And I'm bringing every part of myself, 100%, not just the part of me that's gay, wall and all.


So tonight gotta leave that nine to five upon the shelf
And just enjoy yourself
Groove, let the madness in the music get to you
Life ain't so bad at all
If you live it off the wall





7 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  2. What exactly is a fabcast? My bestfriend Google can't help me much with its definition. It's sort of an eb, yeah? If so, I'm proud of you. If not, pretend that this comment doesn't exist. Lol.

    Cheers, aleph.

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  3. @Kyle, actually sa simula ganun din ako, masasanay ka rin siguro once nasubukan mo. Actually, kahit ok na ako being in such a group, hindi pa rin ako fully comfortable being seen with gay people by acquaintances halimbawa. Hindi ko pa alam kung anong gagawin ko kung sakali. But there's always the first time ika nga.

    @Grey, ahaha fret not my friend, actually malanding term lang nila yun, I think, for the podcast nila. Tawanan/tuksuhan/seryosong usapan about gay issues. Circle of friends sila, tapos minsan may mga guest sila like us. Yung pinakarecent na included ako, ang topic nila ay yung loneliness na nagpipeak tuwing this season.

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  4. I've heard of that Migs before, and I've had such darling feedback about him. And you're meeting up! I suppose the architecture of your recently explored homosexuality is launched on such, ah, reliable blueprints.

    Fabcast. Can't get any gayer than that. And on the off chance that you did, then you will be me.

    Muahness from Pasig Citehh!

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  5. Hey Momel! Yup naku yang si Migs, he's a great guy, people-person and witty. Tapos, dami ko ring namemeet na interesting people through him. Lucky me.

    Happy New Year din pala!!

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  6. Bilang girl ako, hindi ako nakaka-relate. Chos lang. Kidding aside, maganda iyan, kasi nakakapag-interact ka sa kanila, at nakakapag-share kayo ng experiences and thoughts on on things. =)

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  7. Akala ko nagjojoke ka lang Tsina, babae ka pala talaga! (or maybe not... ahahaha)

    Really, kapag you feel you belong in the group, it' always worthwhile. cheers at happy new year!

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