Explore mode ako recently, at tulad ng sabi ko sa isang kaibigan, pakiramdam ko na-ooverhaul ng kaunti ang buhay ko.
Kinikilala ko kasi yung sarili ko bilang isang gay individual at paano ko ba gusto mag-grow as such. Lagi kong ni-reremind sa sarili ko not to lose myself. Hindi naman sa pagiging too careful, pero I try to take everything with a grain of salt.
Ang dami ko kasing ngayon lang na-eexperience or naririnig from conversations. First I thought, it's because I'm not used to this kind of gay culture. That it's different per se. Pero after a while, I realized that it's just like with straight people. One can draw similiarities actually, make comparisons. (But let me make a disclaimer that I'm not a fan of insisting on hard-coded differences when it comes to sexuality.) In both groups, there are those who go to parties and meet people, may mga flirt, may mga promiscuous din etc, the list goes on and on. My closest friends reside on the less rowdier part of the spectrum, so even if I am a "newly-out" gay guy, I want to believe that's where my sensibilities lie. I know I lack a lot of experience especially when it comes to relationships but it's important I think to find early on a kind of anchorage. Right? Yung tipong alam mo na: ahh, dito ko gusto manggaling, I will approach things from this perspective. Yung tipong kaya mong to "go with the flow" pero yung hindi ka naman matatangay completely.
But that doesn't mean I am not open to friendships. From the few times I went out with a group of gays, sobrang ang saya-saya talaga. And aside from that, lagi akong may nararanasang meaningful for me, really. Siguro I've learned the value of opening yourself to people more, connections can be amazing (not necessarily romantic) even with people you've just started to know.
Kaya segue ako to this semi-kind of plugging hehe, I had the pleasure of tagging along sa isang fabcast ni Migs the Manila Gay Guy and the Fabcasters lot. I met him kasi included ako sa isang meetup ng mga blogreaders niya (s&s3). Ang dami kong nakikilala, gusto ko silang maging kaibigan!
Here's the link.
May part 2 pa!
Masayang magulo. Soundtrack ng holidays ko ngayon yang "Off the Wall" ni MJ. At dahil pumipilosopo ako ngayon, yun phrase na "off the wall" won't make as much sense to me, probably, without the idea of a "wall". Yung homo aspect ng wall na yun ang kinikilala ko pa ngayon. Hi, Wall!
I'm off to a party later, actually. And I'm bringing every part of myself, 100%, not just the part of me that's gay, wall and all.
So tonight gotta leave that nine to five upon the shelf
And just enjoy yourself
Groove, let the madness in the music get to you
Life ain't so bad at all
If you live it off the wall